What The History?!: America’s Lady Pirate

First American female pirate? Female serial killer? Common thief? Runaway? Ultimate bad boy lover? There’s nothing chill about this edition of What The History?!

It’s not decided which historical box Ms. Rachel Wall should be permanently placed in. But then again, what woman wants to be placed in just one box? And in 1789, things were still a little hectic, ya know, we’d just fought and won a war for our independence from Britain. Although, you wouldn’t know it today, based on how obsessed we are with British Royalty, this author included. And we Mexited Britain’s asses long before Meghan and Harry got that idea. Editorial: I fully support their decision to walk away from toxic shit. Family and tradition be damned. Been there, done that. Go M&H! But it’s 2020 ya’ll, and us women are way more than one life event, even if they’re all life of crime events.

Rachel Wall was a Jane of All Criminal Trades: She is largely considered first American female pirate. Rachel used her feminine wiles and beauty to trick dumb ass men so she could plunder all the shiny expensive shit from their ships. In her spare time, she was petty thief and pick-pocketer. She even got caught targeting one of John Adams’ friends. Whoops! She was a runaway, accomplice to murder, maid, and, her ultimate downfall, being a fan of fashion.